April 2010
2 posts
#27: App Prices
Because all the iPad app publishers already know you’re a sucker, why not price an RSS reader that is free for the iPhone at $10 on the iPad.
#26: Arcade
Because you’re a sucker for internet April Fools jokes.
March 2010
25 posts
#25: PADD
Because you are an incurable Trekkie.
#24: Decide for Me
Because frivolous decisions are hard.
#23: Tabletop Arcade Games
Because you can set a beer down on it.
#22: The Twitter of Computers
Because less is the new more. And the delicious irony of a one paragraph blog post about how we need to get to used to getting less.
#21: Unaccessible Batteries
Because if the battery dies, Apple will just send you a whole new iPad for $99!
#20: Pro Blogger Delusion
Because this guy already did a great job of deluding himself into buying one, so why shouldn’t you?
#19: Ugly Apps
Because Steve won’t let it out the door with an ugly calculator.
#18: Robot Unicorns
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Because maybe Adult Swim will make an iPad version of Robot Unicorn Attack.
#17: Comcast
Because Comcast just kicked you off their service for going over the 250GB cap again.
#16: Can you hear me now?
Because you still have two years to go on your Verizon contract.
#15: Preorders
Because you can pre-order it next week and shit just got real.
#14: Text Recognition
Because your Newton still hasn’t learned your handwriting.
#13: Gettin' Mugged
Because there isn’t already enough expensive shit in your bag to lose if you get mugged.
#12: Books Are Hard
Because you wish Dostoyevsky had included an interactive timeline of characters in The Idiot so you didn’t feel like an idiot trying to read it.
#11: Crunchpad
Because we’ve always known the Crunchpad was vaporware bullshit.
#10: Giant Remotes
Because if that thing is cooler than the remote that came with your TV, think how awesome an iPad will be!
#9: The Kindle
Because just look at that thing, it is clearly the Motorola RAZR of eReaders.
#8: Childhood Fantasies
Because watching an illegal rip of Quantum Leap on this thing will be freaking awesome.
#7: Don't Panic
Because you realized that an iPad with Wikipedia is about as close as we’re going to get to a real Guide.
#6: Newspapers
Because letting Apple skim 30% off the top will prevent the death of print.
#5: Recipes
Because the iPhone is too small, the Macbook is too big, but when it comes to Cook’s Illustrated, your iPad is just right.
#4: Daft Punk
Because you’ve always wanted to pretend you were part of Daft Punk while changing the songs on your stereo.
#3: Sincere Approvals
Because nothing says “jerk” like:
Thanks for updating the comps. Changes are approved. - Sent from my iPhone
Be a good boss. Let them know you gave their hard work that cursory glance on a real screen.
#2: Upgrade Your Gameboy
Because the DS hasn’t been cool in years, and the PSP never was. You obviously need a portable gaming device though, and just think how much better Scrabble will be with all those extra pixels.
#1: To Be a Prick
Because everyone will ask why you spent $500 bucks on something bigger than your phone and less useful than your laptop. “Because I can.”